A Reprieve
Dec. 28th, 2021 06:06 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
mazecraft13Sometime ago in this journal I wrote that my solitude was being disrupted by a new roommate. Well. That went terribly. I offered up my home to my old high school buddy and somehow, he ended up taking up the room I offered, the living room, the patio, and eventually every space in the house except the kitchen table and my bedroom. He even took over the garage. I had no space left anywhere. It was so brash and audacious, that I was in shock that anyone would take up so much space without a second thought or any conscious awareness of the smothering out of another person's sense of home and sanctuary.
Sure he wasn't all bad. He did the dishes and made breakfast once in a while. Paid his half of the rent (but no other bills) and occasionally did one off helpful things around the house. But in exchange for what? He took ownership of every space he entered with the entitlement of a person accustomed to being the only thing in this world that matters. I was already long since ready to be rid of him and how, when I found out Donna was planning to move to California and looking for a place.
Hey, two birds with one stone! I can get rid of the parasite that was infecting my zen, and help out a friend that would a thousand times over be a better and more conscientious roommate. So, I gave my parasite a few months notice to GTFO and unsurprisingly he didn't use any of the time to actually prep for a move or secure a place to go. I am not a monster and did not want to put him out on the street, but a timeline is a timeline and other people are putting their lives on hold while he continued to prioritize bullshit after bullshit instead of diligently working on something as important as a place to live. So I confronted him last week.
He came home from hanging out with a defunct washed up band nobody gives two shits about anymore and bragging about taking them all to see the Pink Floyd exhibit in LA and was just rambling incessantly while he used my kitchen to cook himself some gross smelling fish sticks. As he went on and on about his day, and the petty and insignificant BS that he involves himself with out in the dirty streets of LA, my aggravation and frustration were ratcheting up with every word until I finally blurted out:
"Not to piss on your parade but January is 10 days away and you haven't done shit about getting out of here. You haven't packed up a single box, you are spending all your time fucking off and I am starting to wonder if you are just planning on staying here until I have you physically thrown out! Every time we talk about this I get dismissive answers and smile and nod reassurances that you will be out on time and I am sick of these empty and meaningless promises just to shut me up. If I were you and I had no idea where I was going to be crashing in a few weeks I would have at least started moving the stuff that I wanted to keep into storage until I found a place to land."
Obvs that is a condensed version got out over the course of the conversation where he basically tried to tell me it would only take him a few hours to move out to which I told him he was delusional and not just about that. Overall the conversation got pretty heated with him staring daggers at me the whole time and my voice only shook once, mostly from rage as I was trying to maintain a semblance of composure.
Well it took more than a few hours, and in fact it took a few days, but when I came home from the Christmas gathering with my family he was gone and almost all of his stuff with him. He left some clothes in the closet and a few odds and ends, along with a few gallons of paint on the patio, and of course the carpet in the room was completely wrecked. But the important thing is that he is gone and my peace of mind and sanctuary is returned.
I still have a lot to do around here to make it a proper sanctuary. Cleaning, getting rid of lots of stuff, redecorating, and of course, when Donna moves in she and I will create the sanctuary together. But for now, I am enjoying the peace, quiet, and solace of my own home again.
Sure he wasn't all bad. He did the dishes and made breakfast once in a while. Paid his half of the rent (but no other bills) and occasionally did one off helpful things around the house. But in exchange for what? He took ownership of every space he entered with the entitlement of a person accustomed to being the only thing in this world that matters. I was already long since ready to be rid of him and how, when I found out Donna was planning to move to California and looking for a place.
Hey, two birds with one stone! I can get rid of the parasite that was infecting my zen, and help out a friend that would a thousand times over be a better and more conscientious roommate. So, I gave my parasite a few months notice to GTFO and unsurprisingly he didn't use any of the time to actually prep for a move or secure a place to go. I am not a monster and did not want to put him out on the street, but a timeline is a timeline and other people are putting their lives on hold while he continued to prioritize bullshit after bullshit instead of diligently working on something as important as a place to live. So I confronted him last week.
He came home from hanging out with a defunct washed up band nobody gives two shits about anymore and bragging about taking them all to see the Pink Floyd exhibit in LA and was just rambling incessantly while he used my kitchen to cook himself some gross smelling fish sticks. As he went on and on about his day, and the petty and insignificant BS that he involves himself with out in the dirty streets of LA, my aggravation and frustration were ratcheting up with every word until I finally blurted out:
"Not to piss on your parade but January is 10 days away and you haven't done shit about getting out of here. You haven't packed up a single box, you are spending all your time fucking off and I am starting to wonder if you are just planning on staying here until I have you physically thrown out! Every time we talk about this I get dismissive answers and smile and nod reassurances that you will be out on time and I am sick of these empty and meaningless promises just to shut me up. If I were you and I had no idea where I was going to be crashing in a few weeks I would have at least started moving the stuff that I wanted to keep into storage until I found a place to land."
Obvs that is a condensed version got out over the course of the conversation where he basically tried to tell me it would only take him a few hours to move out to which I told him he was delusional and not just about that. Overall the conversation got pretty heated with him staring daggers at me the whole time and my voice only shook once, mostly from rage as I was trying to maintain a semblance of composure.
Well it took more than a few hours, and in fact it took a few days, but when I came home from the Christmas gathering with my family he was gone and almost all of his stuff with him. He left some clothes in the closet and a few odds and ends, along with a few gallons of paint on the patio, and of course the carpet in the room was completely wrecked. But the important thing is that he is gone and my peace of mind and sanctuary is returned.
I still have a lot to do around here to make it a proper sanctuary. Cleaning, getting rid of lots of stuff, redecorating, and of course, when Donna moves in she and I will create the sanctuary together. But for now, I am enjoying the peace, quiet, and solace of my own home again.
