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[personal profile] mazecraft13
 I am fortune's fool. A broken thing that pushes forward out of joint and always behind the clock. My heart is sheared in two and resides in two different places. There is no way to completely fix this rift, but to resign to live a life torn. So what does it all mean. Well in the short term, it means leaving my beloved Washington yet again. Not even a year after my less than triumphant return. Fits and starts. Always in fits and starts. That is how a broken thing moves. A twisted thing of little use to much of anyone. But still I try. I try to do good wherever I can. They may be small and insignificant things. Maybe they only matter for a moment. But in that moment, I hope it is worth it to whoever can benefit.

I tried to help my friend's child. I was there the week he was born. I saw him in his formative years with the heart of gold and an imaginative mind. So when he came here at 21 years of age without a plan, no job, no where to live, and hope that God would provide for him and his girlfriend, I offered him help. I got him a job, went in on an overpriced apartment with them, paid more than my fair share of the rent. I paid all the utilities and bought most of the groceries. I bought necessities for the kitchen and things to make them more comfortable. I was respectful of their space and even politely offered to keep their business secret from his mother, my friend, since they had a falling out with her.

See, the girlfriend didn't like his mother, and so he wasn't allowed to talk to her. Oh sure it was his choice. But it was a choice made under duress in order to not lose his girlfriend. It was a sacrifice that she manipulated him into making. In fact, she forced him into similar choices for all of his family back in AZ. They burned everyone that helped them and the bridges they crossed as they left. But I thought I would be different. I'm so easy. I don't create undue conflict, and take a lot of petty shit before I lose my cool. I would be different too because I have been a friend to the boy his whole life. I would show them that not everyone in the world is out to get them, or use them. They would be touched by my example, and healed by my resolve. I couldn't have possibly been more wrong.

The girl was a tragic combination of both paste eating stupid, and throwing feces at the wall crazy. She managed to convince her bf that I was trying to get into their room late at night while they were sleeping. So he put a new doorknob with a lock, along with a chain like you would use on your front door. I shook my head but said nothing. If it made her feel safer that the heathen brown person living in the room across the hall couldn't get into her room than so be it. But quickly she began to create other dramas. She expressed discomfort with all of the other people that her bf already knew up here creating an instantaneous isolation from anyone that might call into question whether or not she was in his best interest. And he acquiesced. He allowed it. He even chose to believe when she told him that other people's intentions were evil and malignant. She pointed out that his good heart was just too pure to see the evil that she saw in others.

Like the time I gave her a bottle of Advil. She had hurt her hand and it wasn't healing very fast, still swollen the next day. I had just bought a large bottle of Advil so I poured some into a smaller bottle of Advil that I had just finished using. I gave it to her and recommended it might aid in her healing if she took some. When I was at work the next morning she text me in a fury saying I had lied to her telling her that it was a new bottle when clearly it had been opened and what was I trying to pull? I calmly explained that I never said that it was a new bottle, but that I had just bought some. I used a jumbo crayon and spelled it out for her and told her that if she didn't trust the pills, not to take them. I also recommended that if she is ever uncertain about pills she can always look them up online and get a full description including pictures of what they should look like along with directions for use and side effects.

But really? FFS!

She over time proved that she was hell bent on misunderstanding, misinterpreting, and assuming the worst about me no matter what I did. She implied that I was straying her bf from the path of Christ by indulging his interest in our "geek" shit like superhero movies and fantasy novels. She would spend hours locked up in her room watching motivational videos from evangelical pastors, reading select bible passages, and even in this I was supportive though I didn't share her faith. I respectfully encouraged them to go to church, was quiet when they wanted to study, and humored them when they wanted to cleanse the house of negative energies.

She was unable to hold down a job for more than a few weeks, even at the temp agencies that she was working at. It was a little reaffirming that I wasn't crazy or delusional every time someone else perceived her volatility. When the inevitable day finally came that they decided my living with them was too much of a burden (IKR?), I went down to the office and only hinted at how irrational she was and the office ladies instantly jumped on it to express run ins they had with her.

So it was the first week of a new term at school, getting over a cold, (I've since relapsed), and total inundation with work that they asked me to move out. I agreed post haste. Fuck you don't have to ask me twice. Hell yeah I wanna move out! See, I was only hanging on because I made a promise to friends of over twenty years that I would watch out for their boy. But when he let himself be manipulated and lied to and then sided with his manipulator against every. single. person. he. knows. and. loves., there really isn't much more I can do. My intention was always just to help them get on their feet and be self sufficient. They assured me that they could make it without any more of my help. Perfect. Mission accomplished. Now gtfo my face. Cause at this point I'm pretty much over the whole lot.

Except the boy is my co-worker and direct subordinate. Well. This job has been ridiculously over taxing on my personal life and ability to maintain my pace at school anyway. So I am leaving. And I am training the boy to take my place. I know at my rate of pay he will be able to afford the overpriced apartment even without her occasional input when she cons someone into hiring her for a few weeks.

Which brings me to why I am also leaving WA state again even though I really don't want to, but also kinda do.

But this has gone on longer than I wanted so I'll have to save that for next time.


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June 2017

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